shady business in barnes and noble

last time me, sister c, daylily, and mother k were in barnes and noble, there was some shady business going on.

sister c's story:

sister c was sitting in starbucks studying when a tall man in a black coat came stomping into the cafe. he overheard the men near her talking about religion and he horned in on the conversation and started, in a noticeably loud voice, ranting about his religion, how he's not welcome in certain establishments, and the war. the other men were not actively participating in this conversation and sister c was getting a very crazy and unwell vibe off of him. she wanted to leave but she thought he would take it offensively and go after her. twenty minutes later he left, and went into the adjoining barnes and noble.

daylily's story:

daylily was looking at books near the bathroom when the tall man in the black coat walked out of the bathroom, and brushed past her. he then turned around and did a double take of her, in other words checking her out.

my story:

i joined daylily at the books near the bathroom when i happened to glance behind me. in the children's aisle a few yards away was a black man in a black coat and beanie. at first, he appeared to be looking at the children's books, but when i really observed him i got the feeling that he wasn't really even looking at the children's books. he was just sort of standing there. like he was waiting for something. or someone.

moments later the tall guy in the black coat caught my attention. i had seen him earlier in the store walking around at a fast pace, and i saw him starting in the black man's direction. i thought this peculiar so i surreptitiously spied upon them.

they started talking. and then arguing in loud voices. i didn't catch any words but soon afterward the tall man in the black coat stormed off. and the black man turned back to his prior perusal of the children's books position.

mother k's story:

moments after the tall man in the black coat stormed off, mother k witnessed him making way for the exit with a furious stride. on his way, he started shouting f***, motherf***er, and other words to that effect.

the conjecture:

i came up with the theory that the tall man in the black coat was shouting angrily at the black man because the black man would not shake his hand. if he had shouted like that right at the black man he would have gotten into trouble, but since he did it instead in a fast manner on his way out, he didn't get into much trouble.

seconds after he stopped yelling, i looked back and the black man had disappeared.

handstands

one of the few times we have gone down to the lounge to watch tv (gossip girl and the office) me and miss rabbit always encounter the handstands boy.

so we would be cozy on the stiff and unyielding sofa watching one of our favorite shows--and we have been lucky enough to be there alone; without any of the irritating and loud dorm shmoozers--when the perpetual couch potato walked in and plopped himself full length upon a sofa.

he said hey, we said hey.

moments later when our attention was rapt upon the television, handstands boy got up and went to the empty lounge area to the left of the square of couches. he then proceeded to do handstand after handstand. the full vertical, head upside down, balancing on hands act. both times me and miss rabbit have been in the lounge, he's employed this curious behavior.

we came up with two viable theories. he is either trying to impress us with his mad acrobatic skills or he is exercising the blood flow to his brain.

we were and still are quite perplexed.

late halloween pictures

here are the very late halloween pictures of me, as the flapper girl! unfortunately they are really big but i was too lazy to fix them. but i think they turned out pretty dang neat.

a photographic day in the city

these were pictures me and miss rabbit took weeks ago, and here they are, belated but very brilliantly colored. and on my lap, there lies the confusing map that got us lost in the first place. well, with a little bit of my help too.

the black and white affair

last night was a bizarre night. after jeeper the creeper, came the slurring mexicanos who shouted at us and chased us. or at least i thought they were chasing us. we never looked back. because we were getting the hell out of there.

anyways, since we figured this was quite the exciting and adventuresome night, we decided to make an appearance at the black and white affair.

we dressed up in our itty bitty black dresses, high heels, and jewels, and walked all the way down to the party in the dark. dressed like classy hookers.

as we walked by people, well males, we garnered quite the amount of attention. one such was a guy talking on his phone and smoking. as we started walking his way miss rabbit overheard him saying to his phone friend

"dude three hot girls are walking by me and their barely dressed."

others just looked at us and wanted to know where we were going. because they wanted to come.

but i was the only one who actually got harassed. well not harassed, just approached.

so we walked into the party, it was not as dark as we wanted it to be and it was really quite small. and stood there for a while, soaking in the scene.

ten minutes later, i started noticing a guy checking me out. i ignored him and looked elsewhere. right into jeeper the creepers eyes. i shrieked and clasped misses rabbit and papaya and drug them to a dark corner. we could not, and i repeat could not, see or talk to that person again.

five minutes later i was approached. by the guy checking me out.

he came up to me and my gaydar screeched immediately. he walked up and started touching himself most inappropriately and got awfully close to my face. miss rabbit thought he was going to kiss me. ugh. i need a shower. again.

anyways he introduced himself in a slimy gay way, and i replied. and after saying some other stuff he said

"well i'm gonna go do something real fast, but after i get back we're gonna dance, okay?"

i assented. the second he stepped over the door, i turned to the girls and said

"we are leaving now!"

and thankfully we escaped. unscathed. and i didn't have to dance with the bizarre gay/not gay man who gave me the heebie jeebies.

jeeper the creeper

omfg.

so tonight me, miss rabbit, and miss papaya people watched in the cafeteria room. people watching entails sitting, rather lounging, in a booth and watching who comes and who goes.

there where many who came and many others who went, but there was one who came. and went. seven times. back and forth. over and over.

we called him jeeper the creeper. the first time he walked by he was wearing dumpy grey sweatpants, and a dark shirt with a creepy face stating the phrase "disturbed". the shirt said it all. he walked by and looked at us. after moments he walked back.

he walked by again, and walked back.

the third time he wore a zip up hoodie over his "disturbed shirt". he walked by, and since we all were getting fed up with his pacing, miss rabbit threw out a "hey" as he passed by. he "hey'd back".

the fourth time he stripped off his hoodie and replaced it with a backpack. he walked by, and miss papaya threw out a "hey there, how's it going" with a cocked gun hand. he "hey there, how's it going" back with a cocked gun hand, but with a click sound.

we were getting seriously creeped out by this person. who seemed like he was stalking us and checking us out. in a really suspicious way.

the fifth time he had no backpack, no hoodie, and instead had a skateboard. he looked at us, and we ignored him.

the sixth time he had a backpack and a longboard.

the seventh time he had no backpack, no longboard, but had acquired a bright white hat. fed up, miss papaya, the ever bold one, yelled out at him.

"hey you sir. stop right there. pause sir. put your arm down. why are you pacing. you have paced atleast seven times back and forth. what is with the pacing?"

jeeper replied " oh, well. well, uh. uh. i'm looking for something. i think i've lost something."

mp " well, what is it? we can help you find it."

j "its a paper. just a paper."

mp "well what kind of paper. come on, we can help you find it and then you can stop pacing."

j "well, its for, uh, my usem class thing. for my ctr thing."

mp "you know what, i'm sensing that there is no paper involved in this."

j "well. your right."

mp "so why are you really pacing?"

j "well who wouldn't want a few ladies checking him out each time?"

we were shocked this person thought this. we were officially creeped out. we held in our laughter as miss papaya muffled a giggle and took out her phone and said

"well i'm gonna call my wife now."

this was supposed to signal to jeeper that this distasteful conversation was way over and he needed to leave. instead he continued to lean against the booth jutting his crotch in our direction. actually afterward, miss rabbit said it was grossly close to my face. oh god, i need a shower.

meanwhile, miss rabbit took out her phone and said

"i think it's time to get our licorice."

meanwhile, i took out my phone and said

"yes i think its time."

meanwhile, jeeper was not moving an inch. not an inch. his eyes continued to sleazily slide over our forms and finally all three of us rose, and i looked up at his face and briskly said

"well you have a good night."

and he replied with a

"yeah, you too."

as we started to quickly escape he shouted at us

"hey, are you guys gonna be at the black and white affair?"

i said "perhaps." and tossed my hair over my shoulder.

afterwards we ran to the dorm room and started laughing hysterically. and then we screamed to eachother about how violated we felt! we were not checking out that creep! he was checking out us, and most overtly too. even now i shudder in disgust as i reminisce.

please no more...

yesterday i had my archaeology class, and of course as usual it was very interesting. except one thing bothered me.

the theme of the day was how neanderthals were portrayed in magazines and art, such as in the national geographic. my professor had one such picture on the power point screen.

as he started to describe the picture and distinguished to us what was fact and what was fiction, i started drifting off.

until i heard him utter the word "boobies." no. i thought. he did not just say that. moments later, as i was listening intently, i heard him again say "boobies." i gleaned from what he was saying that he was referring to the fact that some people are offended when an artwork portrays a woman displaying her breasts openly.

but instead of saying breasts, or at least boobs, this professor man -aged mid forties- was saying "boobies." i was shocked. and then giggled for the rest of the class as his lecture was peppered with the occasional "boobies."

miss rabbit gets kinky

another boring and bland college night. the middle of the week. nothing exciting was going on. so me and miss rabbit decided to divert ourselves and make a late night trip to... barnes and noble. again.

did i ever say that me and miss rabbits favorite word is kinky? we really started using it on halloween when she left a picture of a naked mans butt with a drawn jack o lantern face on it, taped on the door for me to be startled with on my way back from class. that was fun. now its taped on the wall next to my bed. the perfect goodnight image. ahh. sweet dreams.

anyways, me and miss rabbit are twins when it comes to kinkiness.

so we decided to browse the kinky aisle in barnies for thrills. many people, surprisingly were roaming and sitting in the plush sofas throughout the store. so a covert perusal of the kinky aisle was impossible. we decided to pursue anyways. as we walked through the aisle we were brought to a stop by "the books." diy lap dance was a book i picked up to examine. miss rabbit on the other hand picked up "the cards." the dirty cosmopolitan cards. as i was receiving a quite interesting education on lap dances, i heard an explosion to my left. bam! miss rabbit's dirty cards slipped out of her grasp and scattered across the floor. all over the floor.

we were shocked into immobility for moments, until we jumped to action. we must have scooped up all those cards in record time. but of course, the sofa seaters witnessed our mortification. much to our chagrin.

suffice it to say, we spent the rest of our visit sitting in a different and safe aisle reading post secret books.

mother k gets friskay

barnes and noble.
ahh.
my home away from home.
so mother k decided to come over last last thursday to pick me up and take me home, and she also decided it was time for me to visit my other home. i hadn't been to barnies for some time so i was stoked. big time.
so let's set the scene.
we walked in, the smell of fresh books and coffee welcoming us with open arms, and mother k exclaiming i love holiday books! all around us stacks of holiday themed books and gifts beckoned to us.
we saunter by a table with towers of cylindrical christmas gifts, and she again exclaims i love all these christmas things!
as she caresses a cylindrical christmas gift labeled "playful sex."
mother k dear, not in public.

french photos no 2

here are some other french photos that i love. love the cigarette. gives it a certain ooh la la factor.

movie quote no 2

"my tie is in the bathroom and i can't go in because uncle frank
is taking a shower. he says that if i walked in there and saw him
naked, i'd grow up never feeling like a real man.

whatever that means."

-home alone II

my own live soap opera!

i used to think the girls next door were normal, but after piecing together what i know about them and what miss rabbit knows, they are not so. rather than normal, they are quite the drama queens.

this is how yesterday played out. i woke to the sound of hysterical crying and sobbing from the room next door. all this noise was so loud that i could hear it from out of my window. curious as to the cause of her outrageous histrionics, i began to listen. much of her sobbing i could not distinguish any words, but after an entire day of her shouting, sobbing, and skyping drama, and my eavesdropping, spying, and window-hearing i got the gist of her situation.

apparently her boyfriend had strayed and landed in the lap of another "woman". i was even lucky enough to catch a really juicy conversation of her shouting at her ex boyfriend through the computer. i strained my ears to listen to a conversation peppered with "i love you", "i miss you", "don't go to her", "i'll take you back", "i miss you so much", "i love you so much", and "don't leave me". it was rather sad, but after listening to her for seven straight and unending hours, i was pretty unsympathetic.

instead of begging, she should have bucked up, had a strong backbone, and left her boyfriend with her pride and feminine power sitll intact.

finally at nine o clock at night, her sobbing ceased. and i slept peacefully.

halloween

halloween was interesting, but unfortunately not as fun as i wanted it to be. i didn't even get any candy. wah.

so the day began with me and miss rabbit doing our makeup and hair. getting ready for halloween was similar to getting ready for a high school dance. stressful and nothing seemed to be working out the way we envisioned. miss rabbit's hair was giving her grief and my peacock feathers were not finding their perfect position in my head band and i had accidently burned my left arm with the triple barrel curling iron. finally though, we found the perfect look for us both. everything had fell into the right places. except the fact that it was seven o clock and the boys were not showing up.

they did not show up until an hour and a half later. so from eight o clock in the morning to seven o clock at night me and miss rabbit were so excited to go out. from seven o clock on, we weren't so. sitting around for long hours doing nothing but waiting patiently, was quite the killjoy. atleast we looked hot.

our costumes were 1920s flapper girls. and our look was unique because nothing was halloween store-bought except for the cigarette holders and long elbow-length black gloves. so, no one could pull off our one-of-a-kind look.

finally the boys showed up and we walked downtown in our high heels. at least i did. and they were killer. and my calves got such a killer work out. it was torture. afterword i discovered two perfectly bubble shaped blisters on my third toes.

mid walk, i got a surprise phone call. from sir knaul, a guy i had met about a month ago and had sort of lost contact with. he wanted to know if i could hang out with him when i got to the plaza because he wanted me to meet his little brother.

so we arrived at the plaza and i found sir knaul and his group, sitting on the back of his white truck. unfortunately sir knaul couldn't walk because his leg was broken but i met his sister, brother, and his friend. none of which i can remember their names, but i do remember that his little brother looked like a male version of a girl who i went to school with and also looked like a high schooler. sir knaul, i am not a cradle robber! ugh. after chatting for a little bit i bid them adieu and we resumed our walking about.

finally, we all got bored and walked back to the dorms. miss rabbit took off, and i made a cup of hot jasmine tea, and watched some internet tv.

why is it?

why is it that whenever one walks in the mall, they are either harassed by people trying to sell things, or they are approached by mall hooligans?

by mall hooligans, i mean the guys who are there to walk around and "hey how's it going" you up.

this always seems to happen at the mall. to girls. it is so odd.

whenever it happens to me, i'm usually walking with miss rabbit and when she doesn't speak up i do, and i reply "it's going good, how about you?" a bit forcefully. that usually scares them off.

i have found that it is sort of fun to do that.

a windy day in the city

thursday me and miss rabbit decided to take a jaunt downtown to see what the stores had to offer. that, and i needed to find mother k a birthday gift. her birthday is on election day. yikes.

walking downtown is always shady business. there are the people in black smoking who knows what around the plaza tree, there is the homeless man parked on a bench with his dog holding out a cup saying "trick or treat" and when that doesn't work "you are such beautiful ladies!", and there is the occasional drunken man foisting pamphlets on unsuspecting patrons. yes, shady business indeed, and it's even only daytime.

so running into the entire gamut of shady peoples, our day in the city was quite interesting. miss rabbit recognized she had a hankering for a candy apple and i found some perfect gifts and an even more perfect card for mother k's day.

on the way home, it turned into quite a windy day in the city. rather a day full of hurricane force winds.

walking back under an ominous grey sky we had no idea what nature had in store for us. all of a sudden light airy winds turned into powerful 100 mph gusts. leaves were whipped up into cyclones and thrown at our faces and unprotected arms with violent strength. we struggled against the headwind pushing our frail bodies back with no remorse. pine needles were blown into the sky and torpedoed down with precise direction at our targeted faces. our long hair was vertical and flailing in the mid afternoon bluster, and the only thing saving our vulnerable eyes were our sunglasses.

finally we arrived home, safe and intact. with stomachs that were hurt and cramping from hysterical laughter.

and that was our windy day in the city.

lovely quote

manners are especially the need of the plain.
the pretty can get away with anything.

-evelyn waugh

the swamp horse

the swamp horse. wow. the swamp horse.

there is an art gallery here where i go to school, and earlier in the week they had a showing of a new art piece. a sculpture called the swamp horse. and this thing is the creepiest sculpture i have ever seen in my life. if i was trapped in a pitch dark room, with a spot light that occasionally lit it up, i would run out crying. and screaming. well, so i wouldn't actually be trapped.

i really wish i had a picture of it. i'm hoping i can get miss rabbit to take pictures of us and it together so i can post them. it is so scary! it's body is a horse and its head and tail is some dinosaur mutant alien hybrid. and the monster is six feet tall and ten feet long. it's massive. oh, and it also has sharp white teeth and a slimy looking blue tongue and fully dilated black alien-esque eyes. the swamp horse. wow.

run rabbit. run!

a couple of days ago me and miss rabbit were shmoozing in our room when she realized she was late. she leapt up and grabbed her keys and started out the door when i started shouting run rabbit run! run rabbit run! she got all worked up as she ran out the door and shouted back at me to stop. little did i know, what was occuring outside of the door, in the hall.

fifteen minutes later i got a text from her.

"when you were saying run run those guys that change the trash started running. lol"

everyday at 12:50 the special needs janitorial guys come to change the trash across from our door. well, you get the picture. the poor guys really took my shouting to heart and started taking off! i felt so bad. unfortunately it was really funny too.

eavesdropping

today during prehistory class, at eight flipping o clock in the morning, i was dozing when i happened to eavesdrop on an interesting converstation between two girls behind me.

girl a: so steve came to town over the weekend.

girl b: really? did he know you're staying with andrew?

girl a: yeah. i think that's why he came to visit. he was really disturbed by it. and it was so weird. all the feelings i used to have for him came flooding back.

girl b: really?

girl a: yeah. and then he started telling me how he still loves me and that he can't imagine me not being in his life. and then he hugged me and started crying! and i started crying too!

girl b: oh no!

so it was sort of a sadly romantic conversation. at least the information in it was. and then one of the girls (can't remember if it was a or b) asked me if she could borrow my notes. and i was like, uh no. i wanted to tell her that she should come to class and take her own notes but i'm not that rude. but i still am not going to let anyone copy my notes. they are precious.

french photos no. 1

me and sister c took some fun french pictures a couple of weeks ago. i really liked how the pictures are blurry and really old fashioned looking. here are some of my favorites.

random

"there's not much fruit in those looms."

-the office

an adventure with miss rabbit

so yesterday, me and miss rabbit got lost. in the great residential hills of a-town. of course, it was i reading the map and i who got us lost in the first place. maps are funny and confusing things.

the plan was to walk downtown, and find a little shop we wanted to visit. unfortunatley we realized in the middle of our journey that i neglected to pen down the actual address of the place and after trekking up an absolute behemoth of a hill, actually more like mountain, we called 411 and found out we were at the opposite end of town.

finally after three hours of walking up, down, and sideways, we found our little shop. the jaunt was a nice diversion from boring late afternoon blah.

we even came across a house with a lawn decorated with six sitting deer. miss rabbit told me they were fake, but after i saw an ear flicker, i boasted "i told you so!"

so today, unsurprisingly, i have killer shin splints. ow.

check this out

i love the idea behind this video:

don't you just love it

don't you just love it when you went to bed early, and are in the midst of a really deep and peaceful sleep?

don't you just love it when at 3:30 in the morning you are awakened by screaming people outside your dorm window?

so friday morning, that is exactly what happened. drunk and obnoxious people carousing below my window. their conversation went something like this:

boy a: (bellowing) damn! i love weed!

boy b: (bellowing back) hey you, are you smoking weed?

boy a: hell yes i am!

girls a and b: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha (snorting high pitched laughing)

as the smell of weed drifts through my open window.
just one of the joys of dorm life.

movie quote no 1

chickenboy?

say that to my face you limp noodle!

-mulan

what i don't understand

what i don't understand is why people have to go to college. it seems to me, a waste of four years of my life, a gross waste of my money, and a waste of brain power. chemistry is the devil. even general chemistry. you may think that science isn't that hard, but omfg, i have seen what organic chemistry does to people. it turns them into zombies for real.

so at 11:50 am today, i got out of taking my gen chem midterm and it totally kicked my ass. well, hold on, i think i kicked its fill-in-the-blank and multiple choice ass, but it's word problems kicked my ass. i felt so unfortunate. my professor pinned up the answers on a board afterward, but i was too depressed to look.

on the bright and beautiful side, i escaped from my english class 50 minutes earlier! that is the beauty of being in the library, and acting like i'm doing research for a paper that i have already done. well, done two years ago. yeah, i'm using an old research paper. but, if the shoe fits...

let me introduce myself...

bonjour mon amies,

my name is june jaynes, and i am a nouveau blogger. i am a freshman at a university in a place i christen, a-town. i live in a cave i call my dorm room, with walls pasted with posters, a corkboard, and draped with twinkle lights.

presently i am listening to the song "drive slow" homey, by kanye west. i am alone, the curtains are closed and i am drinking brisk raspberry iced tea. i'm bored, and have a lot of homework to do, but i do not want to do it.

so i decided to start a blog. i have always wanted to, because i love telling stories about myself and writing to make people laugh. it is my goal in life.

the beginning

a conversation between two sisters:

C: i wouldn't mind drawing my brother naked.

L: really? would you pose for your brother?

C: NO!

context- while talking about nude models, drawing class, and wanting someone to pose for her.