Thursday, January 29, 2009
the statue of libertay
me and miss rabbit were walking back from the beanery the other day when we spotted one of those people dressed up in the statue of liberty costume who's mission is to remind you to finish your taxes. he was a little mexican man and he was dancing the jig and smiling one big smile. to make him happy we stopped by and asked him how it was going. he grinned and offered a bright blue foam crown for us to take. miss rabbit politely declined, but i politely accepted it. here are the pictures resulting.
additions and changes to the name brigade
additions:
the stairwells= a couple comprising of a girl named after an herb who sings all the time and a guy who has a head way too big for his body; we had the misfortune to overhear them one time- the girl said to the guy "you. in the stairwell. now."; made us shudder in repulsion; girl frequently flashes dirty looks in our direction (for reasons unknown)
chanel= a wonderfully flamboyant gay black guy who wears ugg boots, skinny jeans, aviator sunglasses, and a delicious chanel bag swung about his shoulder
elf= a small childlike girl who wears a long trenchcoat and walks in a slightly hunchbacked and loping manner
hair= a girl both of us went to school with; her distinct voice can be heard a mile away
the wolf= a girl miss rabbit knows; always wears a wolf shirt and has a man voice; me and miss rabbit go wolf hunting all the time
changes:
hawaiian discount ----> is now mexican pervert= he is one sick creep, we recently found out
the stairwells= a couple comprising of a girl named after an herb who sings all the time and a guy who has a head way too big for his body; we had the misfortune to overhear them one time- the girl said to the guy "you. in the stairwell. now."; made us shudder in repulsion; girl frequently flashes dirty looks in our direction (for reasons unknown)
chanel= a wonderfully flamboyant gay black guy who wears ugg boots, skinny jeans, aviator sunglasses, and a delicious chanel bag swung about his shoulder
elf= a small childlike girl who wears a long trenchcoat and walks in a slightly hunchbacked and loping manner
hair= a girl both of us went to school with; her distinct voice can be heard a mile away
the wolf= a girl miss rabbit knows; always wears a wolf shirt and has a man voice; me and miss rabbit go wolf hunting all the time
changes:
hawaiian discount ----> is now mexican pervert= he is one sick creep, we recently found out
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
the name brigade
june jaynes and miss rabbit have found it quite necessary to create and record a list of all the ongoing characters in the drama called college life. Here is the list as of now.
retro= miss rabbit’s spanish amor; also works in the cafeteria; wears the most appalling raccoon hat- striped tail in the back and everything
jimmy= j. whyte, miss rabbit’s spanish class acquaintance and itunes aficionado
hawaiian discount= the teddy bear of a cafeteria clerk who continues to give us outrageous discounts on our snacks
pretty eyes= adorable cafeteria clerk; walks with a stylish book bag, smokes, carries a cane (for reasons unknown), and he is, did june forget to mention, adorable?
whip cream man= barista boy from the beanery, sister c’s ultimate poetic crush
dreds= another of miss rabbit’s amors- she is quite the casanovia; he is another beanery boy but he has dreds and makes miss rabbit oh so flustered
batey-boy= another beanery boy who holds an uncanny resemblance to jason bateman (the actor), june jaynes amour
silent policewoman= the girl next door; in a single room, plays obnoxiously loud hard metal music, and is a total biotch
pectoral toucher P.T. =the creepy gay/not gay man who approached june jaynes at the black and white party; perhaps a second encounter in the library during finals week-miss rabbit noticed a longish haired man staring at them from over a cubic booth
jeeper the creeper aka jeepers= the pacer of all pacers, long greasy hair, sleazy stare, continues to stalk us; june jaynes had encounter at nighttime with jeepers- he let her in the door and he was swinging a duct tape bat around, she was officially scared
double A aka attitude adjustment=the mexican starbucks barista boy; is never nice to us
hippie man= used to be miss rabbits crush, that phase passed; june jaynes found out he is in her history class; smokes and has weird gauged piercings
the predator= while june jaynes and miss rabbit were watching tv in the jock lounge he creeped in the doorway and asked how it was going, they replied it was going good, he took that as interested encouragement and is now checking them out whenever they have the unfortunate luck to run into him
the jock lounge aka predator’s lair= the dining area by the cafeteria that features a tv and usually an entire pack of jocks or the predator
the beastlies= the beastly girls next door
the moor= a black guy that both miss rabbit and june jaynes attended high school with, handsome and nice
east coast aka E.C. = professor of anthropology that june jaynes had last term and miss rabbit has this term; both have crushes on him; handsome with glasses but slight paunch
scruff mcgruff= long haired tall beautiful man; stylin’ yet sloppy fashion attire; june jaynes amour
adrien brody= june jaynes crush from anthropology class and history class; classic and beautiful profile-that’s the only angle june ever sees of him; she recently decided she loves him and continues to sit behind him in anthropology class
puke= name originated from a time when june and miss rabbit used to say “i puke prettier than that outfit” whenever they saw her and her atrocious attire; used to room with ugly
ugly= a most unattractive girl who used to live in the hall; disappeared for three weeks with her boyfriend- cause of much drama in the hall
pw= people watching; an activity miss rabbit and june jaynes do not do near often enough, for it is great fun
retro= miss rabbit’s spanish amor; also works in the cafeteria; wears the most appalling raccoon hat- striped tail in the back and everything
jimmy= j. whyte, miss rabbit’s spanish class acquaintance and itunes aficionado
hawaiian discount= the teddy bear of a cafeteria clerk who continues to give us outrageous discounts on our snacks
pretty eyes= adorable cafeteria clerk; walks with a stylish book bag, smokes, carries a cane (for reasons unknown), and he is, did june forget to mention, adorable?
whip cream man= barista boy from the beanery, sister c’s ultimate poetic crush
dreds= another of miss rabbit’s amors- she is quite the casanovia; he is another beanery boy but he has dreds and makes miss rabbit oh so flustered
batey-boy= another beanery boy who holds an uncanny resemblance to jason bateman (the actor), june jaynes amour
silent policewoman= the girl next door; in a single room, plays obnoxiously loud hard metal music, and is a total biotch
pectoral toucher P.T. =the creepy gay/not gay man who approached june jaynes at the black and white party; perhaps a second encounter in the library during finals week-miss rabbit noticed a longish haired man staring at them from over a cubic booth
jeeper the creeper aka jeepers= the pacer of all pacers, long greasy hair, sleazy stare, continues to stalk us; june jaynes had encounter at nighttime with jeepers- he let her in the door and he was swinging a duct tape bat around, she was officially scared
double A aka attitude adjustment=the mexican starbucks barista boy; is never nice to us
hippie man= used to be miss rabbits crush, that phase passed; june jaynes found out he is in her history class; smokes and has weird gauged piercings
the predator= while june jaynes and miss rabbit were watching tv in the jock lounge he creeped in the doorway and asked how it was going, they replied it was going good, he took that as interested encouragement and is now checking them out whenever they have the unfortunate luck to run into him
the jock lounge aka predator’s lair= the dining area by the cafeteria that features a tv and usually an entire pack of jocks or the predator
the beastlies= the beastly girls next door
the moor= a black guy that both miss rabbit and june jaynes attended high school with, handsome and nice
east coast aka E.C. = professor of anthropology that june jaynes had last term and miss rabbit has this term; both have crushes on him; handsome with glasses but slight paunch
scruff mcgruff= long haired tall beautiful man; stylin’ yet sloppy fashion attire; june jaynes amour
adrien brody= june jaynes crush from anthropology class and history class; classic and beautiful profile-that’s the only angle june ever sees of him; she recently decided she loves him and continues to sit behind him in anthropology class
puke= name originated from a time when june and miss rabbit used to say “i puke prettier than that outfit” whenever they saw her and her atrocious attire; used to room with ugly
ugly= a most unattractive girl who used to live in the hall; disappeared for three weeks with her boyfriend- cause of much drama in the hall
pw= people watching; an activity miss rabbit and june jaynes do not do near often enough, for it is great fun
Friday, December 5, 2008
shady business in barnes and noble
last time me, sister c, daylily, and mother k were in barnes and noble, there was some shady business going on.
sister c's story:
sister c was sitting in starbucks studying when a tall man in a black coat came stomping into the cafe. he overheard the men near her talking about religion and he horned in on the conversation and started, in a noticeably loud voice, ranting about his religion, how he's not welcome in certain establishments, and the war. the other men were not actively participating in this conversation and sister c was getting a very crazy and unwell vibe off of him. she wanted to leave but she thought he would take it offensively and go after her. twenty minutes later he left, and went into the adjoining barnes and noble.
daylily's story:
daylily was looking at books near the bathroom when the tall man in the black coat walked out of the bathroom, and brushed past her. he then turned around and did a double take of her, in other words checking her out.
my story:
i joined daylily at the books near the bathroom when i happened to glance behind me. in the children's aisle a few yards away was a black man in a black coat and beanie. at first, he appeared to be looking at the children's books, but when i really observed him i got the feeling that he wasn't really even looking at the children's books. he was just sort of standing there. like he was waiting for something. or someone.
moments later the tall guy in the black coat caught my attention. i had seen him earlier in the store walking around at a fast pace, and i saw him starting in the black man's direction. i thought this peculiar so i surreptitiously spied upon them.
they started talking. and then arguing in loud voices. i didn't catch any words but soon afterward the tall man in the black coat stormed off. and the black man turned back to his prior perusal of the children's books position.
mother k's story:
moments after the tall man in the black coat stormed off, mother k witnessed him making way for the exit with a furious stride. on his way, he started shouting f***, motherf***er, and other words to that effect.
the conjecture:
i came up with the theory that the tall man in the black coat was shouting angrily at the black man because the black man would not shake his hand. if he had shouted like that right at the black man he would have gotten into trouble, but since he did it instead in a fast manner on his way out, he didn't get into much trouble.
seconds after he stopped yelling, i looked back and the black man had disappeared.
sister c's story:
sister c was sitting in starbucks studying when a tall man in a black coat came stomping into the cafe. he overheard the men near her talking about religion and he horned in on the conversation and started, in a noticeably loud voice, ranting about his religion, how he's not welcome in certain establishments, and the war. the other men were not actively participating in this conversation and sister c was getting a very crazy and unwell vibe off of him. she wanted to leave but she thought he would take it offensively and go after her. twenty minutes later he left, and went into the adjoining barnes and noble.
daylily's story:
daylily was looking at books near the bathroom when the tall man in the black coat walked out of the bathroom, and brushed past her. he then turned around and did a double take of her, in other words checking her out.
my story:
i joined daylily at the books near the bathroom when i happened to glance behind me. in the children's aisle a few yards away was a black man in a black coat and beanie. at first, he appeared to be looking at the children's books, but when i really observed him i got the feeling that he wasn't really even looking at the children's books. he was just sort of standing there. like he was waiting for something. or someone.
moments later the tall guy in the black coat caught my attention. i had seen him earlier in the store walking around at a fast pace, and i saw him starting in the black man's direction. i thought this peculiar so i surreptitiously spied upon them.
they started talking. and then arguing in loud voices. i didn't catch any words but soon afterward the tall man in the black coat stormed off. and the black man turned back to his prior perusal of the children's books position.
mother k's story:
moments after the tall man in the black coat stormed off, mother k witnessed him making way for the exit with a furious stride. on his way, he started shouting f***, motherf***er, and other words to that effect.
the conjecture:
i came up with the theory that the tall man in the black coat was shouting angrily at the black man because the black man would not shake his hand. if he had shouted like that right at the black man he would have gotten into trouble, but since he did it instead in a fast manner on his way out, he didn't get into much trouble.
seconds after he stopped yelling, i looked back and the black man had disappeared.
handstands
one of the few times we have gone down to the lounge to watch tv (gossip girl and the office) me and miss rabbit always encounter the handstands boy.
so we would be cozy on the stiff and unyielding sofa watching one of our favorite shows--and we have been lucky enough to be there alone; without any of the irritating and loud dorm shmoozers--when the perpetual couch potato walked in and plopped himself full length upon a sofa.
he said hey, we said hey.
moments later when our attention was rapt upon the television, handstands boy got up and went to the empty lounge area to the left of the square of couches. he then proceeded to do handstand after handstand. the full vertical, head upside down, balancing on hands act. both times me and miss rabbit have been in the lounge, he's employed this curious behavior.
we came up with two viable theories. he is either trying to impress us with his mad acrobatic skills or he is exercising the blood flow to his brain.
we were and still are quite perplexed.
so we would be cozy on the stiff and unyielding sofa watching one of our favorite shows--and we have been lucky enough to be there alone; without any of the irritating and loud dorm shmoozers--when the perpetual couch potato walked in and plopped himself full length upon a sofa.
he said hey, we said hey.
moments later when our attention was rapt upon the television, handstands boy got up and went to the empty lounge area to the left of the square of couches. he then proceeded to do handstand after handstand. the full vertical, head upside down, balancing on hands act. both times me and miss rabbit have been in the lounge, he's employed this curious behavior.
we came up with two viable theories. he is either trying to impress us with his mad acrobatic skills or he is exercising the blood flow to his brain.
we were and still are quite perplexed.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
late halloween pictures
here are the very late halloween pictures of me, as the flapper girl! unfortunately they are really big but i was too lazy to fix them. but i think they turned out pretty dang neat.
a photographic day in the city
these were pictures me and miss rabbit took weeks ago, and here they are, belated but very brilliantly colored. and on my lap, there lies the confusing map that got us lost in the first place. well, with a little bit of my help too.
Friday, November 21, 2008
the black and white affair
last night was a bizarre night. after jeeper the creeper, came the slurring mexicanos who shouted at us and chased us. or at least i thought they were chasing us. we never looked back. because we were getting the hell out of there.
anyways, since we figured this was quite the exciting and adventuresome night, we decided to make an appearance at the black and white affair.
we dressed up in our itty bitty black dresses, high heels, and jewels, and walked all the way down to the party in the dark. dressed like classy hookers.
as we walked by people, well males, we garnered quite the amount of attention. one such was a guy talking on his phone and smoking. as we started walking his way miss rabbit overheard him saying to his phone friend
"dude three hot girls are walking by me and their barely dressed."
others just looked at us and wanted to know where we were going. because they wanted to come.
but i was the only one who actually got harassed. well not harassed, just approached.
so we walked into the party, it was not as dark as we wanted it to be and it was really quite small. and stood there for a while, soaking in the scene.
ten minutes later, i started noticing a guy checking me out. i ignored him and looked elsewhere. right into jeeper the creepers eyes. i shrieked and clasped misses rabbit and papaya and drug them to a dark corner. we could not, and i repeat could not, see or talk to that person again.
five minutes later i was approached. by the guy checking me out.
he came up to me and my gaydar screeched immediately. he walked up and started touching himself most inappropriately and got awfully close to my face. miss rabbit thought he was going to kiss me. ugh. i need a shower. again.
anyways he introduced himself in a slimy gay way, and i replied. and after saying some other stuff he said
"well i'm gonna go do something real fast, but after i get back we're gonna dance, okay?"
i assented. the second he stepped over the door, i turned to the girls and said
"we are leaving now!"
and thankfully we escaped. unscathed. and i didn't have to dance with the bizarre gay/not gay man who gave me the heebie jeebies.
anyways, since we figured this was quite the exciting and adventuresome night, we decided to make an appearance at the black and white affair.
we dressed up in our itty bitty black dresses, high heels, and jewels, and walked all the way down to the party in the dark. dressed like classy hookers.
as we walked by people, well males, we garnered quite the amount of attention. one such was a guy talking on his phone and smoking. as we started walking his way miss rabbit overheard him saying to his phone friend
"dude three hot girls are walking by me and their barely dressed."
others just looked at us and wanted to know where we were going. because they wanted to come.
but i was the only one who actually got harassed. well not harassed, just approached.
so we walked into the party, it was not as dark as we wanted it to be and it was really quite small. and stood there for a while, soaking in the scene.
ten minutes later, i started noticing a guy checking me out. i ignored him and looked elsewhere. right into jeeper the creepers eyes. i shrieked and clasped misses rabbit and papaya and drug them to a dark corner. we could not, and i repeat could not, see or talk to that person again.
five minutes later i was approached. by the guy checking me out.
he came up to me and my gaydar screeched immediately. he walked up and started touching himself most inappropriately and got awfully close to my face. miss rabbit thought he was going to kiss me. ugh. i need a shower. again.
anyways he introduced himself in a slimy gay way, and i replied. and after saying some other stuff he said
"well i'm gonna go do something real fast, but after i get back we're gonna dance, okay?"
i assented. the second he stepped over the door, i turned to the girls and said
"we are leaving now!"
and thankfully we escaped. unscathed. and i didn't have to dance with the bizarre gay/not gay man who gave me the heebie jeebies.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
jeeper the creeper
omfg.
so tonight me, miss rabbit, and miss papaya people watched in the cafeteria room. people watching entails sitting, rather lounging, in a booth and watching who comes and who goes.
there where many who came and many others who went, but there was one who came. and went. seven times. back and forth. over and over.
we called him jeeper the creeper. the first time he walked by he was wearing dumpy grey sweatpants, and a dark shirt with a creepy face stating the phrase "disturbed". the shirt said it all. he walked by and looked at us. after moments he walked back.
he walked by again, and walked back.
the third time he wore a zip up hoodie over his "disturbed shirt". he walked by, and since we all were getting fed up with his pacing, miss rabbit threw out a "hey" as he passed by. he "hey'd back".
the fourth time he stripped off his hoodie and replaced it with a backpack. he walked by, and miss papaya threw out a "hey there, how's it going" with a cocked gun hand. he "hey there, how's it going" back with a cocked gun hand, but with a click sound.
we were getting seriously creeped out by this person. who seemed like he was stalking us and checking us out. in a really suspicious way.
the fifth time he had no backpack, no hoodie, and instead had a skateboard. he looked at us, and we ignored him.
the sixth time he had a backpack and a longboard.
the seventh time he had no backpack, no longboard, but had acquired a bright white hat. fed up, miss papaya, the ever bold one, yelled out at him.
"hey you sir. stop right there. pause sir. put your arm down. why are you pacing. you have paced atleast seven times back and forth. what is with the pacing?"
jeeper replied " oh, well. well, uh. uh. i'm looking for something. i think i've lost something."
mp " well, what is it? we can help you find it."
j "its a paper. just a paper."
mp "well what kind of paper. come on, we can help you find it and then you can stop pacing."
j "well, its for, uh, my usem class thing. for my ctr thing."
mp "you know what, i'm sensing that there is no paper involved in this."
j "well. your right."
mp "so why are you really pacing?"
j "well who wouldn't want a few ladies checking him out each time?"
we were shocked this person thought this. we were officially creeped out. we held in our laughter as miss papaya muffled a giggle and took out her phone and said
"well i'm gonna call my wife now."
this was supposed to signal to jeeper that this distasteful conversation was way over and he needed to leave. instead he continued to lean against the booth jutting his crotch in our direction. actually afterward, miss rabbit said it was grossly close to my face. oh god, i need a shower.
meanwhile, miss rabbit took out her phone and said
"i think it's time to get our licorice."
meanwhile, i took out my phone and said
"yes i think its time."
meanwhile, jeeper was not moving an inch. not an inch. his eyes continued to sleazily slide over our forms and finally all three of us rose, and i looked up at his face and briskly said
"well you have a good night."
and he replied with a
"yeah, you too."
as we started to quickly escape he shouted at us
"hey, are you guys gonna be at the black and white affair?"
i said "perhaps." and tossed my hair over my shoulder.
afterwards we ran to the dorm room and started laughing hysterically. and then we screamed to eachother about how violated we felt! we were not checking out that creep! he was checking out us, and most overtly too. even now i shudder in disgust as i reminisce.
so tonight me, miss rabbit, and miss papaya people watched in the cafeteria room. people watching entails sitting, rather lounging, in a booth and watching who comes and who goes.
there where many who came and many others who went, but there was one who came. and went. seven times. back and forth. over and over.
we called him jeeper the creeper. the first time he walked by he was wearing dumpy grey sweatpants, and a dark shirt with a creepy face stating the phrase "disturbed". the shirt said it all. he walked by and looked at us. after moments he walked back.
he walked by again, and walked back.
the third time he wore a zip up hoodie over his "disturbed shirt". he walked by, and since we all were getting fed up with his pacing, miss rabbit threw out a "hey" as he passed by. he "hey'd back".
the fourth time he stripped off his hoodie and replaced it with a backpack. he walked by, and miss papaya threw out a "hey there, how's it going" with a cocked gun hand. he "hey there, how's it going" back with a cocked gun hand, but with a click sound.
we were getting seriously creeped out by this person. who seemed like he was stalking us and checking us out. in a really suspicious way.
the fifth time he had no backpack, no hoodie, and instead had a skateboard. he looked at us, and we ignored him.
the sixth time he had a backpack and a longboard.
the seventh time he had no backpack, no longboard, but had acquired a bright white hat. fed up, miss papaya, the ever bold one, yelled out at him.
"hey you sir. stop right there. pause sir. put your arm down. why are you pacing. you have paced atleast seven times back and forth. what is with the pacing?"
jeeper replied " oh, well. well, uh. uh. i'm looking for something. i think i've lost something."
mp " well, what is it? we can help you find it."
j "its a paper. just a paper."
mp "well what kind of paper. come on, we can help you find it and then you can stop pacing."
j "well, its for, uh, my usem class thing. for my ctr thing."
mp "you know what, i'm sensing that there is no paper involved in this."
j "well. your right."
mp "so why are you really pacing?"
j "well who wouldn't want a few ladies checking him out each time?"
we were shocked this person thought this. we were officially creeped out. we held in our laughter as miss papaya muffled a giggle and took out her phone and said
"well i'm gonna call my wife now."
this was supposed to signal to jeeper that this distasteful conversation was way over and he needed to leave. instead he continued to lean against the booth jutting his crotch in our direction. actually afterward, miss rabbit said it was grossly close to my face. oh god, i need a shower.
meanwhile, miss rabbit took out her phone and said
"i think it's time to get our licorice."
meanwhile, i took out my phone and said
"yes i think its time."
meanwhile, jeeper was not moving an inch. not an inch. his eyes continued to sleazily slide over our forms and finally all three of us rose, and i looked up at his face and briskly said
"well you have a good night."
and he replied with a
"yeah, you too."
as we started to quickly escape he shouted at us
"hey, are you guys gonna be at the black and white affair?"
i said "perhaps." and tossed my hair over my shoulder.
afterwards we ran to the dorm room and started laughing hysterically. and then we screamed to eachother about how violated we felt! we were not checking out that creep! he was checking out us, and most overtly too. even now i shudder in disgust as i reminisce.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
please no more...
yesterday i had my archaeology class, and of course as usual it was very interesting. except one thing bothered me.
the theme of the day was how neanderthals were portrayed in magazines and art, such as in the national geographic. my professor had one such picture on the power point screen.
as he started to describe the picture and distinguished to us what was fact and what was fiction, i started drifting off.
until i heard him utter the word "boobies." no. i thought. he did not just say that. moments later, as i was listening intently, i heard him again say "boobies." i gleaned from what he was saying that he was referring to the fact that some people are offended when an artwork portrays a woman displaying her breasts openly.
but instead of saying breasts, or at least boobs, this professor man -aged mid forties- was saying "boobies." i was shocked. and then giggled for the rest of the class as his lecture was peppered with the occasional "boobies."
the theme of the day was how neanderthals were portrayed in magazines and art, such as in the national geographic. my professor had one such picture on the power point screen.
as he started to describe the picture and distinguished to us what was fact and what was fiction, i started drifting off.
until i heard him utter the word "boobies." no. i thought. he did not just say that. moments later, as i was listening intently, i heard him again say "boobies." i gleaned from what he was saying that he was referring to the fact that some people are offended when an artwork portrays a woman displaying her breasts openly.
but instead of saying breasts, or at least boobs, this professor man -aged mid forties- was saying "boobies." i was shocked. and then giggled for the rest of the class as his lecture was peppered with the occasional "boobies."
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