cornfl*ke

recently scary gary had a fit of impetigo. and when he has impetigo he HAS impetigo. not little mouth sore. but BIG mouth sore. poor man. poor wife who has to kiss it.

so last week i ventured home to hang, and when i walked through the door i was greeted with scary gary, his impetigo, the scab over his impetigo and his lips rushing forward to kiss me "welcome home."

i was horrified. i stepped back and in my startled shock yelled out

get that cornflake away from me!

thus his new nickname: affectionately, cornflake.

a brief personality summary of scary gary: he is tremendously vain about his appearance. quite succinct but it does the job. he must have been born with more than a regular amount of feminine genes evidenced by the amount of time he spends inspecting himself in the mirror. i'm surprised he doesn't use hair gel.

so after using his new name quite frequently (ex. dip that cornflake in some milk man!, mommy wants some cereal!, well you've got breakfast to-go today!)frustration began to mount in his attitude. and one night it erupted.

hey cornflake! i shouted. as we were gathered around the television. he turned to me and shouted back
hey buttflake!
and when scary gary resorts to such crude terms, its business time.

mother k interjected with a

don't say that scary gary, that is rude and uncalled for.

i smirked. scary gary blew up in an explosion that rivaled mt vesuvius.

tell her to stop calling me cornflake! i'd rather be called buttflake or even scab face!

he pouted.

me and mother k giggled at his obvious and unwarranted offense to my creative and grainy term of endearment.

so now, i try to alleviate his offense with saying hey cornfl*ke instead. censoring out the important a. yet still getting my meaning across.

point one june jaynes. point oh scary gary.