pitfalls of facebook

i was sitting in english class yesterday, "introduction to the major," while the class was discussing the book we were reading. tired, i began slowly zoning out. i slightly perked up at the word facebook, and turned my attention back to my professor.

an older, long-bearded, spectacle wearing man.he was going on about his facebook, and how he was on it last night, when out of the blue he bellows

"actually, i saw you!"

i jerk in my seat. he has one long arm and his pointer finger stretched out and is pointing, well, in my approximate direction.

i look behind me then in front of me, confident that it was not me he had just made eye contact with when he said that.

he repeats, re-jutting the arm and finger.
"yeah! i saw you!"

there is no mistake. he's addressing me.

"me?" i quaver.

"yeah! you! i was checking you out!"

i cringe at those damning words. the class erupts in laughter. i try to keep imminent embarrassment at bay. it doesn't work.

"oh?" i quiver.

"oh, i wasn't checking you out" he says goodnaturedly, too late. "but i did see you!"

still, i'm not quite sure how he saw me or even if it was me he saw. if it was me, he would have seen a picture of the lower half of my face and top half of my torso in a red dress with every inch of my open skin pasted with many bright and gaudily glittered tattoos. somehow, i doubt he saw this. or perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part.

jeeper the creeper

omfg.

so tonight me, miss rabbit, and miss papaya people watched in the cafeteria room. people watching entails sitting, rather lounging, in a booth and watching who comes and who goes.

there where many who came and many others who went, but there was one who came. and went. seven times. back and forth. over and over.

we called him jeeper the creeper. the first time he walked by he was wearing dumpy grey sweatpants, and a dark shirt with a creepy face stating the phrase "disturbed". the shirt said it all. he walked by and looked at us. after moments he walked back.

he walked by again, and walked back.

the third time he wore a zip up hoodie over his "disturbed shirt". he walked by, and since we all were getting fed up with his pacing, miss rabbit threw out a "hey" as he passed by. he "hey'd back".

the fourth time he stripped off his hoodie and replaced it with a backpack. he walked by, and miss papaya threw out a "hey there, how's it going" with a cocked gun hand. he "hey there, how's it going" back with a cocked gun hand, but with a click sound.

we were getting seriously creeped out by this person. who seemed like he was stalking us and checking us out. in a really suspicious way.

the fifth time he had no backpack, no hoodie, and instead had a skateboard. he looked at us, and we ignored him.

the sixth time he had a backpack and a longboard.

the seventh time he had no backpack, no longboard, but had acquired a bright white hat. fed up, miss papaya, the ever bold one, yelled out at him.

"hey you sir. stop right there. pause sir. put your arm down. why are you pacing. you have paced atleast seven times back and forth. what is with the pacing?"

jeeper replied " oh, well. well, uh. uh. i'm looking for something. i think i've lost something."

mp " well, what is it? we can help you find it."

j "its a paper. just a paper."

mp "well what kind of paper. come on, we can help you find it and then you can stop pacing."

j "well, its for, uh, my usem class thing. for my ctr thing."

mp "you know what, i'm sensing that there is no paper involved in this."

j "well. your right."

mp "so why are you really pacing?"

j "well who wouldn't want a few ladies checking him out each time?"

we were shocked this person thought this. we were officially creeped out. we held in our laughter as miss papaya muffled a giggle and took out her phone and said

"well i'm gonna call my wife now."

this was supposed to signal to jeeper that this distasteful conversation was way over and he needed to leave. instead he continued to lean against the booth jutting his crotch in our direction. actually afterward, miss rabbit said it was grossly close to my face. oh god, i need a shower.

meanwhile, miss rabbit took out her phone and said

"i think it's time to get our licorice."

meanwhile, i took out my phone and said

"yes i think its time."

meanwhile, jeeper was not moving an inch. not an inch. his eyes continued to sleazily slide over our forms and finally all three of us rose, and i looked up at his face and briskly said

"well you have a good night."

and he replied with a

"yeah, you too."

as we started to quickly escape he shouted at us

"hey, are you guys gonna be at the black and white affair?"

i said "perhaps." and tossed my hair over my shoulder.

afterwards we ran to the dorm room and started laughing hysterically. and then we screamed to eachother about how violated we felt! we were not checking out that creep! he was checking out us, and most overtly too. even now i shudder in disgust as i reminisce.