how to achieve the wind-mill effect

there's this little trick i've been playing on mother k. she complains that it destroys her delicate sensibilities. i say, it's great fun. and entertainment.

PROCEDURES TO ACHIEVE DESIRED WIND-MILL EFFECT:

acquire mother k's cell phone. try to find it when it's not attached to her butt, hip, or breast

if she is in the same room, move to an adjacent one, out of her far-sighted sight

station yourself-ex: chair, couch, stool...

open phone, search for the sounds category, find ring tone (lovesway-scary gary's, bossabutgo-sister c's, tea in the afternoon-daylily's), play a snippet of the ringtone

pause background sounds

if no footsteps are to be heard, start shouting--> get the phone, get the phone
upon hearing what sounds like a stampede, sit back and enjoy the show

THE WIND-MILL EFFECT IN ACTION:

immediately after hearing her hunny's ring, or her precious daughter's, mother k shoots out of her throne (whether it be lavatory or otherwise)and rushes into the room her ears lead her to

as she gallops into the room at a frantic and harried pace, she flails her arms in a frenetic whirling motion. circular and whippy, her arms appear as if noodles just out al dente from their boiling water bath. (hence THE WIND-MILL EFFECT)

her face is lightly shiny from perspiration thanks to her run, and her eyes are focused on the small black piece of technology in my hands

as this odd behavior is exhibited, she screeches

give it to me, GIVE IT TO ME!

i proceed to do just that

she puts it up to her ear, not bothering to look at the screen (which tells all), and breathes out a hello

only to be met with silence

JUNE! she throws down the phone in a fit. JUNE!

her eyes squint in anger, and again her arms resume their flailing motion as she launches herself at me like a tiger.

i run. the chase commences.