update on mr pompom

so everyday in chemistry class i can't help but observe the chemistry shouter. or what i am calling him now: mr pompom.

one day he was getting ready to stake his front seat when he stood up and took off his jacket. this action revealed his outfit. yikes. he was wearing the baggiest of brown corduroy pants paired with a tight (like a baby tee for girls), white, too short shirt that had blue rims around the short sleeves. it was a look that definitely went down in my book.

and then a couple days ago he was in front of his seat, standing, and he took off his pull over sweatshirt. and you know how sometimes when a guy takes off his sweatshirt he sometimes accidentally pulls off the undershirt too? so it leaves his naked torso shown to the whole world?

so poor mr pompom had his scrawny and pale naked torso writhing around as he furiously tried to pull his undershirt down and his sweater off. but his hairy head was hindering his progress. so for the next minute the entire lecture hall was treated to his free torso show.

until he finally righted himself and immediately plopped down in his seat.

ahh...my daily entertainment.

scratch-it aholics

miss rabbit introduced scratch-its to me a week ago. and boy, did i take to it.

first we had decided to go grocery shopping at albertsons and get a movie from the redbox. afterwards, miss rabbit had the grand idea to get some scratch-its. we waited at the counter, and as we waited an old black man hobbled up behind me and used the lottery scanner to check his tickets.

the first one beeped. $1! it shouted.

yeah. he grunted.

the second one beeped. $15! it shouted.

yeah. he grunted.

awesome. i added.

holla. he replied.

i had to grin. this old black man with a rakish beret just said holla. it was priceless.

andy beardard, our favorite lottery man helped us get our tickets. we had gone back and forth getting tickets for a half an hour. i only spent $7.50 mother! the first one i got was an egyptian one. nothing happened. the second two were small one dollar ones. again, nothing. meanwhile miss rabbit was raking in the cash. dollar by dollar.

we had also attracted an audience. one young boy had followed us to our bench and plopped right down. eating his reeses pieces from the candy dispenser he asked,

whatcha doin?

gambling, i replied.

oh. he said.

unfortunately for the fifteen minutes following, i think we corrupted his young and impressionable mind. i have a nasty feeling he's going to grow up to be addicted to scratch-its. shoot. i failed to do my civic duty.

finally, after both of us were having a losing streak, we decided to go to seven eleven instead. maybe we'd have better luck.

we walked down from our dorm with baggy sweatpants and our hoods up. we fit right in.

we opened the door and entered and headed straight for the scratch it case. my eyes were drawn toward a one dollar ticket that was called "wild cherry." both of us had previously decided that we were only going to invest one more dollar in this business.

i chose the wild cherry, and so did miss rabbit. outside we sat down on the curb and searched for a dime to scratch with. instead i found a rock.

she scratched.

i scratched.

and unveiled three thirty dollar signs! i shouted in glee! i had just won thirty dollars! i was ecstatic. miss rabbit was bitter. and jealous. i laughed.

and ignored the guys laughing and pointing at us from their running car.

and that was the start of the addiction. just kidding.

expect the unexpected

today, i woke up and got ready to have an adventure.

the previous night i had made mental plans to wake up early, wash my face, put on some sweats, and travel down to the fitness center to work out. for the first time.

i have been pondering visiting the fitness center for some time now, and i decided i needed to just get ready and do it. i had pinpointed the location of the center on a map of campus that i had, but i had never been there before.

after i got my little work out bag organized (water, keys, id card, phone, ipod) i stopped and remembered the philosophy that my "explorer of the world" book extolled. expect the unexpected. so i repeated the mantra in my head, and began my trek downhill and across the boulevard.

first it took me twenty minutes alone walking around trying to find the dang place. i weaved back and forth, and around each building getting close enough to read each sign with my short-sighted eyes. not it. not it. not it. until finally i double backed and went to the very first building.

fitness center
it proclaimed
beneath the stadium

i was bewildered. the fitness center is beneath the stadium? i shrugged and winded my way to the stadium, through the gates, and over the track.

i walked to the entrance, and was met with a big grey and unfriendly concrete door.

i threw open the door, and bravely walked in. i immediately thought. why the hell did i even want to expect the unexpected?

so, apparently it was man morning. there was no treadmills, bicycles, or tepid exercise machines. just a lot (A LOT) of jocky men working out. there was no second level designated for girls. just a fitness center full of men. i was confused, shocked, and very mentally disturbed.

there was no one at the desk to approve of my id, and for some reason i kept walking into the place. activity stopped, men stared, and some grinned. and no one helped me. i was a total damsel in distress. floundering in a sea of weights and dumbbells.

and i didn't stop there. i actually walked all the way to the end of the complex (which wasn't very long). on the way i impeded the five men doing quick jog stepping exercises. i nearly collided with two as i hurried past. at the time, i believe my instincts were kicking in. escape! escape! i had spotted an exit at the end and was practically running to it. i stopped short when my eyes finally distinguished the writing upon it.

emergency exit only. alarm will sound if opened.

disheartened, i whipped around, and walking quickly back through the mass of sweaty and masculine bodies. being careful to avoid the jog steppers. i zeroed in on the way i had come in and speed walking back through it.

i actually ran all the way back to the boulevard in my hurry to get the heck out out of the place. the shock didn't wear off until hours later. i still cringe even now.

i have not formed an opinion on the pros and cons of "expect the unexpected," but i do know that i will never set foot in the fitness center again. instead, i have plans to find a sedate and deserted hill to claim as my own natural treadmill.

the heinous movie experience

i was sitting on my bed drinking my french press coffee when a thought just struck my mind. i never blogged about my heinous movie experience. so i dropped everything and am doing just that.

so roughly two weeks ago me and miss rabbit used our free movie tickets to go see gran torino. the movie was good. the experience was not.

first of all we went to the varsity theater, a "really old and kept that way" type of theater. after getting our tickets the man gave us directions to the theater room.

go back outside

he said

and walk down the alley until you meet the stairs and then turn left into the theater.

we were startled! walk outside and down a dark alley to the theater? scream! so we were brave and walked outside and down the alley and as we were chatting, opened up the door. scream! for real! as we started opening the door a tall and odd looking man was coming out. he had surprised us so badly.

well, ladies. scary movie. scary movie!

he said with a clown like grin.

we were officially scared. but we moved on and entered into the actual theater. it was dark. small. cramped. and empty. and located off an alleyway. where anyone could walk in. we got bad vibes.

we sat down anyway and waited for the movie to begin.

just as it started. we heard the door open and footsteps resounded. we clasped hands and waited. the tall and odd man came in with another man. but this man was old and scrubby looking. sort of like a hobo. we were alone. with them. they stepped up and sat behind us. i wished at least that they could have sat in front of us!

ten minutes later the door opened again. fortunately this time it was two women. five minutes later, two guys. the guys were from school and were basketball players. both were very tall and dressed like wangsters. we breathed more easily.

the movie went on. the quality was bad, it wasn't loud enough, and the walls were so thin that we could hear the movie nearby.

in the middle, the hobo man had to go to the bathroom so he got up to leave. he started walking to the end of the row but walked into a wall. he cursed loudly, nearly fell upon miss rabbit, and hobbled back across the row and down the stairs.

and lastly there were the two women. who laughed a lot. and not the good laughing, but the bad laughing. the shrill, annoying, and brain piercing kind.

me and miss rabbit kept sneaking outraged glances at each other during the entire length of the movie.

after we go out, we ranted. and decided that that was the last time we were going to attend the varsity movie theater.

war with the girl next door

remember silent policewoman from the name brigade? well let me update.

first of all there was that whole episode during finals week.

it was about eleven twenty at night and me and miss rabbit couldn't sleep so we just started talking as we lay in our beds. ten minutes of talking and some giggling (we were not that loud, just our normal indoor voices) there came soft knocks at our door.

we were startled. miss rabbit peeked through the peep hole and gasped

its the girl next door!

and jumped back on her bed. the knocks stopped once we quieted down. for moments we just lay there outraged by the audacity of this girl. of course you may threaten to go tell someone to shut up but you don't carry it out. it is just not done. obviously silent policewoman was unaware of this unspoken rule.

and we were honestly not being loud! and eleven twenty is not late in dorm time. that whole incident just rubbed us the wrong way.

so the silent policewoman lives in a single room next to my side and on her other side is an empty room. and guess what. the side she has her huge stereo speakers against is my side, not the side that shares a wall with the empty room!

so everyday, unfailingly, she blares her hard core metal music. the bass resounds out the window, out her door, and through the wall. it ricochets off of our walls and pounds into our brains. sometimes, we retaliate (i know, i know). occasionally i blast some rock music. but that is only to muffle the sound of her music. which i shouldn't even be hearing.

and once when i was putting away my clothes, opening and closing my drawers repeatedly (maybe a slight bit forcefully, only a slight!) she started banging her drawers shut too! what a biotch!

me and miss rabbit absolutely hate her. she is not considerate or respectful. we have recently decided to take the higher road and be the bigger person. the next time she blasts her music at an inconvenient time for us, we will tattle.

my special ability that is secretly hated by miss rabbit

so, it has recently come to my attention that i have a special ability.

an ability to terribly fluster miss rabbit in situations she ordinarily wouldn't pay attention or get embarrassed by.

let me say something about miss rabbit. she is usually calm, doesn't get embarrassed easily, and can easily compose herself. but for some reason, when she does something funny i bring it to her attention and her feathers get ruffled.

it is quite fun to observe. it has begun to be a game. she, of course, hates it with a passion.

an example was the other night when we were at the counter in the cafeteria weighing and paying for our dinner. she set her dish of pasta on the scale and on the way scattered some on the counter.

i burst out with a

oh miss rabbit, your naked noodles got loose!

the cashier grinned. miss rabbit gave me a mad look and mumbled something unintelligible. she hurried off as the cashier scooped up the noodles and threw them away. i grinned and sung out a thank you as i payed and moved on.

big heads small heads

recently, i have come to notice (why, i have no idea) the size of people's heads in proportion to their bodies.

it all started with the male stairwell and his body shape. you know, the big head and shorter body.

well, the other day i was shocked and stunned to find someone else (a man) with an even bigger head in proportion to his body! i'm not being mean, i am just so very interested and a slight bit repulsed by this small/big phenomenon. this man's head was just... well, it made my mind go speechless for a long period.

and earlier that day, i walked through a door into a building and encountered a girl with a head too small for her body! i just had to stare! it was inordinately small with sharp features, and it's image imprinted itself on my mind. even now i am getting mental pictures.

my first rock concert. and my last.

well, me and miss rabbit had one of our first "big girl" adventures february 5. we attended the hinder rock concert in the nearby town. just the two of us- no boys. i told her i thought it would be really fun if it could just be a girls thing and she agreed. i sort of wish she hadn't.

this is how the night panned out.

five o clock i finally escaped chemistry lab and i began readying myself. after forty five minutes of straightening and hair spraying hair, applying fake eyelashes, drawing on gobs of black liner and mascara, and squeezing myself into skinny jeans and a tight black v-neck tee, i was ready. and after forty five minutes of curling her hair, applying pretty pink eyeshadow, and putting herself into jeans and a white top, miss rabbit was ready to go too. i was "rocker chick" and she was "girlie girl."

we arrived at the location a half an hour before the doors opened at seven. and we were met with such long and wide lines that we parked ourselves and stayed in the car. sat on the heated seats. listened to music. and played word games to overcome the boredom. and while we stewed, our apprehension of the coming night grew. more particularly my nervousness was affecting my bladder. or as miss rabbit so affectionately called it: my "tiny tank."

we watched children, teenagers, older people, middle aged people, and people of our own generation pass by on their way to the doors. finally when we could no longer postpone reality, we breathed and strengthened our backbone, and sauntered over to the doors. again to be faced with a just as long line.

fortunately the line went fast, and after being patted down and corralled, we beelined for the bathroom. and as to be expected at any concert the line was long. and slow. forty minutes later i found out the bathroom was only equipped with three toilets. lovely.

standing in line we encountered cutters (thank god the lady in front of us said something to make them leave, i was scared. they looked really scary), obnoxious drunk women shouting about how bad they had to piss, and other women who would walk up to the bathrooms and then notice the long line and be outraged. finally, we relieved ourselves and made way into the concert room. where the opening band was beginning. thirty minutes or so later, hinder came on stage.

let me say a few things first:

1. the concert was for all ages. it should not have been. i would say fifteen and over would have been appropriate. there was a lot of f words being thrown around (by the lead singer and in the songs), a lot of drunks, a permanent marijuana stench, and little kids weren't even able to see (if they were in the very middle of things) because they were too short.

2. there should have been a reserved area and a cheap ticket area. some sort of border to separate the decent folk from the hoi polloi (no offense).

3. and the bouncers/security men should have been a little more stringent in what they deemed okay, and not okay.

the concert itself was pretty good. since the band was touring to promote their second and newest cd, we were unfamiliar with most of the songs. we only had the first (and we deemed it the best) cd.

actual encounters were not many. just one incident where one tall homeboy and his friend stood really close to us. and looked at us. later the tall one kept squeezing his way in and out of the center of the crowd over and over for reasons unknown. and offended miss rabbit with an accidentally grope to her breasts.

along with enjoying (that is not the most precise word...) the concert, i enjoyed observing the behavior of the people and the people themselves. i made a mental list of things i wanted to rant and blog about so here goes:

1. the drunk people. they were in the center of the mass, near the stage (we were close to the front but off to the side, and not totally locked in) and did i mention they were totally trashed? of course during all the extreme rocky songs they tried their best to start a mosh pit. they crouched and ran in little circles knocking into each other and other unwilling participants. very unwilling participants. people had to hold hands so they wouldn't fall down. many actually did fall down, and one overweight and overwrought girl with glasses was getting really upset. at these times me and miss rabbit took a couple steps back and took in this behavior at a safe distance.

2. the head banging tweens. off to my side were about four tween boys with the cliched mop of dirty and long hair. and of course they were using it. by doing head banging motions or just outright whipping their heads around in tight circles flinging my face with sweat, dandruff, and most likely lice.

3. the man/woman. a person standing in front of both of us who seemed to be enjoying the show. the only excitement they showed was a slight bobbing of the head and at one point a succession of whoo's. but for the life of me, i could not figure out if it was a man or a woman. miss rabbit told me later she was a woman and she smelled really bad. i wouldn't doubt it.

4. the anorexic poseurs. these two, really made me mad. they looked like sisters but i couldn't be sure. both were small, rail thin, had sad facial expressions, shorn heads, spiked dog collars (which could be dangerous. hello!), and the entire time had their arms in the air. i would continually see their pale stick arms and hands strewn with those black and red jelly bracelets tied in knots around their wrists and fingers (so middle school) waving in the air. they were doing the rock hand symbol and one kept putting both her hands together in a heart shape whenever the singer would look in her direction. i couldn't stand it!

5. me and miss rabbit were sure the lead singer was gay. but we later found out he was married. anyways he reminded us of johnny depp from pirates of the caribbean. he had longish black stringy hair and wore a long swallow tailed black coat decorated with studs and leather. and all the microphone stands had bras hanging from them. that was funny.

6. the overall look of people there was just unattractive. they were scary, intoxicated, trashy, obnoxious, and creepy. even during the last song (get stoned) someone lit up and the smell of pot permeated the air.

finally we left at ten. and were quite happy to get back to our safe and comfortable room. all in all, it was quite an experience but we agreed that it just wasn't our scene.

gangsta chick and farm boy

the pom pom

chemistry 202. 11 o clock in the morning. for fifty minutes. a total yawn. except the one thing that makes me perky at such a time is the chemistry “shouter.” by “shouter” i mean the person who usually sits next to you and shouts out the answers whenever the professor asks a rhetorical question. usually they are way annoying. but not this one.

he always sits in the front row of the big lecture hall. he wears glasses that remind me of dumbledore’s “half-moon glasses” and has grown a full and voluminous beard. he’s not that old, more likely in his young twenties. and day after day he never fails to wear a baseball cap, beanie, or pom pom stocking cap. and by pom pom stocking cap i mean the type of stocking cap that is white and red knit, says i ♥ oregon, and on the very tip is attached a gargantuan red yarn pom pom. so he continues to claim the front center seat each class, and he also continues to shout. examples of this behavior is such:

doug would ask

does that make sense?

cs would reply with a laconic

for sure.

doug would ask

homework will be due monday. agreed?

cs would agree with a

yeah. mmmhmmm.

and each time he finished his shout, he would look behind his shoulder and peer at the rest of the class over his spectacles to see if anyone was laughing. i could tell he hoped so, because he himself would have a big silly grin on his face.